garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
did you just send me my own nude
BRING THE BAGELS
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
