I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
