Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
