you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
