girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
