i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
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