did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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