Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
