I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
another moral hangover. fuck.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Randomize
