I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
