I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
