What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
