I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
