You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
