I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
