Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize