Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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