Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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