and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize