I feel like abortions should bother me more
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
