i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
