i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I won't apologize to a one balled man
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
