I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He did a backflip because drugs
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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