The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
