Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
