You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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