I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
