Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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