There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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