At least make sure they are 18
Why
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Drunk is not a location!
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
