wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
