If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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