please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
