At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
soo... how was my night?
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