I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
