Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize