Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
