winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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