New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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