Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
There r osticjed everywhere
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
