There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
