It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
