I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
