drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
