So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
