There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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