Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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