Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
