There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
