I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
