Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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