ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
