69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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