you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Randomize
