chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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