Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
