i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
