Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
