Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
