I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
