Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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