I wish you could order shots online.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
