I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
