Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
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