He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
