that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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