We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
