Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
this will be a night to untag.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize
