She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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