I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
