if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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