He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
