so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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