I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
