mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
you guys were way drunker than both of me
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
